Toilet Racer

"Doodles, please play with your trucks somewhere cleaner else.  The toilet seat is not a race track." 

Please, someone else tell me their kid did this, too?

Play with your own! AGAIN!

Whew!

I have finally stopped laughing enough to be able to type.  Mind you, this event took place over three hours ago.  I so wish there was a video - but even if there was - I wouldn't post it.

A little back story is required first....

We play a game with Doodles where we touch his nose and say "boop" or tug on his ears and say "toot".  Then he does it back to us and thinks it is hilarious!

With that in mind, I just had to share this little "play with your own" gem of Doodles...

So, the three boys are all taking a bath in my bathtub.  Doodles got out first and I dried him off.

Just as he was dry, the twins got out of the tub and were both standing side by side in front of the bathtub.

They dried their bodies and then, while they were drying their hair...

Doodles reaches out with both hands, grabs both boys' packages, tugs them and says "Toot! Toot!"


BWAA HAAA HAAA!



And that, is what we call a crime of opportunity!

His mother's son

Oh dear.  I think I may have just discovered why I hate HATE REALLY HATE-HATE-HATE doing homework with my 9 year olds...

It seems that this picture is kinda hard to read and his writing is ATROCIOUS - so allow me to do a quick translation:

QUESTION 2.  Are any of the polygons that you drew regular polygons?  Explain how you know.

My son's answer, and I quote ...   

"yes, they all are.  I looked in the SRB [student reference book] and there I saw the regular polegons."

Perhaps I can't handle homework time because they are just as big a smartass as I am?

Pyramids on penises.

One of my sons, who shall remain nameless, (but suffice it to say is a 9 year old) caused me to send the following text message to my husband....

I might have TOTALLY missed it in the "mom manual", but I am pretty sure that *must* be dad's job to discuss the pros and cons of drawing pyramids on one's own penis. 

What about you?  What's the best thing you found drawn on your child?

Nipple Chasing

There were times when nursing twins that all wanted was a little break - not for me and my sanity (well, sometimes that, too) - but for the nipples!  One day, one of the toddlewins was whining for milk (gasp - can you believe that could happen?) and, in shear frustration, I suggested he get some from his brother (who was more than happy to oblige!)

  


We all know how entertaining it can be to watch a dog chase his own tail, right? Well, if you have or know a nursing toddler, I highly recommend you tell said toddler to 

"Have some of your OWN milk"

I guarantee the ensuing minutes of nipple chasing will be totally worth the entertainment!

Child Labor

In a discussion about chores and 'allowances', I asked the boys two questions: "what happens when you work?" And "what happens when you break the law?"

I was looking for the answers "you get paid" and "you get fined". 

The answers I got? "You have to do things you do not like to do" and "you get to spend time alone in your room." . . . . Where did we go wrong??

Now, on another note...  I highly recommend the system of parents paying commissions to children for work  completed and receiving fines from children for bad behavior and/or work not completed.

I have a tin can (momma's bank) that has dollars and quarters in it.  The twins have a joint jar (where goes the money for all their chores at the beginning of the week - before they do anything at all).  And they each also have their own jar for their personal savings (and from which they pay me fines for their bad behavior).  

So, here is how it works.  On Sunday, we get all the jars together.  The boys take the contents of their joint jar and split it evenly between themselves and put their money in their own jars.  If there is an extra quarter, they just leave it in the jar for the next week.  Then, they get $5.00 put in their joint jar for the next week's chores.  If the twins do not do a chore they are supposed to do, they pay the fine (for not doing the work) out of the joint jar.  If one or the other of the twins gets fined - for misbehaving, lying, etc - that fine comes out of their individual jar.

Since they don't get a lot of money each week, it takes a long time to save up money for something special (have you SEEN the price of a large set of Legos lately?!)  So, if there is something they really, REALLY want, and they can save over half of the total, we'll chip in the rest. 

And that is exactly what Twin A just did.  Well, and that $5 dollar bill he found in the bushes at the park.  He had $34 dollars saved and a $4.89 balance on a gift card at Toys R Us.  So we went to Toys R Us and they didn't have the Alien Conquest Mother Ship!!   (Enter crisis mode.)  

He held back tears while we went up to the front to ask if they had any more or could order it. Not only are they are not carrying them in the store anymore, but the price had gone up $7 dollars online. 

My husband and I got on our phones and found one at a nearby Wal-Mart.  When we got there, it was on clearance for twenty bucks less!

Here he is right after finding it!

Naked in the ballroom

Do you know (or remember) that we own an Arthur Murray Dance Studio?  We teach Ballroom, Latin, Swing, Country, Salsa, and Social Dancing to teens and adults.  Basically, we teach anything that you do with a partner - On a dance floor - That involves leading and following.  If you have ever considered dancing, are interested in reconnecting with your spouse, are looking for something FUN that will give you great health benefits, or have been wondering what lifelong investment in yourself you should make; you really need to visit your local Arthur Murray and get started today!


To get us started off with the first of MANY dance related sayings I never thought I would say or hear as often as I do....


"I am sorry, but there is no getting naked in the ballroom!"


Sometimes, the quote is all you need are going to get.  

"That which has been seen, cannot be unseen" also applies to "that which has been described, cannot be erased from the mental image center".  (Please, just trust me on this one!)

OK, just one G-rated photo...

Sadly, I have used this line at least 7 times in the past few months, to 6 different people!  No, not only to the potty training toddler, but also to TallMatt, BaberTot, Tex, Christian [not my dad], Yahoo#1 and creepy random, (homeless?) dude bathing in the gas station's water across the parking lot.  OK, OK.  So technically, he wasn't INside the ballroom, but you get my drift...


My husband has heard me say it so many times, that it just rolled off his tongue during a dance lesson!   Have you seen those e-card images floating around Facebook that start off  

"That awkward moment when...." ?

Play with your own!

If there is one thing in motherhood that I never thought would surprise me, it is the frequency with which I have to say certain things...

If that old adage "if I had a nickel for every time...." were true - I don't quite think I'd have a million bucks - but probably somewhere around $23.80.  (That is assuming I have said it at least twice a week for the past 9 years - and definitely more when the twins and now the toddler were/are potty training.)  

In my inaugural post here at "Play with your Own" - a place to learn and see all the things I never thought I would have to say; but HAVE to say on a regular basis - I present the first of many quotes uttered and re-uttered by a mother of 3 boys, (wife to a husband and an employer of staff members)  ...

"Play with your OWN!!"

This one started off as a bath time quote - with two baby boys in the tub together.  Yes, this is usually and primarily regarding a specific and favored body part of little boys - but over the years it has evolved to include legos, pillows, squirt guns (the actual toys that shoot water) and their vegetables.  To my husband, it is most commonly used for new electronics and gadgets and the boys' legos, and to my staff, it relates to binders, programs, keys and, of course, dance partners.

Here is a photo of the three in the tub - just so you have an idea who hears this line the most!

Hmmmm, I wonder what my next saying will be....