My Nuts

We were recently on an airplane and the flight attendant brought us some peanuts.  Mr. Baby asked me if he could go to the back of the plane and ask for two more bags of nuts for his brothers.  He asked the flight attendant 

"Please mine have some nuts for mine boys?"

Once I explained to her that he wanted a couple of bags of peanuts to take home to his brothers - she gave him this. 

He proudly walked back to is seat telling everyone he passed...

"look at my nuts!"

Fast forward to the end of the flight, the seatbelt light had been turned on and we were close to final approach to landing in Reno.  There was another little boy on the flight that was crying.  My oh-so-sweet caring boy, Mr. Baby said, 

"Do you think mine nuts will help feel him better?!"

Buaa hwaa haaa!

My friend, Jay C, said it best "if that had been said by a girl - all humor would have been lost!"

Hitting Santa

These huge hangings are in our Costco over the food court area.  It is a picture of a couple of kids playing with Captain Hook on a white sandy beach with a cruise ship in the background.

And what does my kid say?

Doodles said:

"Those kids are hitting Santa.  Thems BAD kids!"

"Mom!  The sun is looking at me!  Make it stop!"

I am sorry the sun is in your eyes, little boy.

Dickless

Our house has been an illness infested cesspool this week.  The twins are both sick - colds, sore throats, achy bodies, fevers (oh, how high can we go?) and general nastiness.  Just as I was about to reach the end of my rope [cuz I am pretty sure that the parent of the year prize is not awarded to parents who yell "STOP COUGHING!" to their children] of the chorus of coughing this conversation happens:

Coolio (9.5 years) :  

"Mom, I don't feel better.  

I literally think I am dying"

["Literally?"  Child?  When did you learn that word?!]

Doodles (2.5 years) :  

"Oh Coolio!  Stop being dickless!

After I was able to stop laughing - trust me, it took a while - I was able to explain to Coolio that what Doodles really said was 'ridiculous' - "stop being RIDICULOUS!"