Cox? Cock? Koks? You decide.

Welcome to more Toddler Talk from our favorite 2.5 year old!  Another fun game of "guess what he is really trying to say"  :)

This is the the very first time I heard it.  We were at home and Doodles was obviously looking for something.  This was the conversation we had.

Mom:  "What are you looking for, sweetpea?"

Doodles:  "I want my cock, I can't find it."

Mom:  "Excuse me?!  Your what?!"

Doodles:  "I can't find my blue coxs.  Mine like daddys."

Mom:  "?!?"

I'll give you three more recent conversation snippets...

1.  I was just about to change Doodles' diaper, I asked him to take his shorts off while I went to get a diaper.  When I came back, he was messing with his shorts (which were off) and said,  "Look mom!  I taked my shorts off and my cox got stuck in them."

2.  While putting Doodles into the car, he said, 

"Momma!  My cock just fell off and rolled under the car!"

3.  By the time this next conversation happened, we already knew what he was saying - but the poor ladies in the hair salon were highly shocked entertained!  Dad took Doodles with him when he (dad) went to go get a haircut.  Doodles told them all about his koks:

"I have my cocks.  They are Blue.   And my Daddy has cocks too.  They are blue, too."

Ready? 

I would once again like to thank Chris and Daisey for handing these CROCS down to Doodles and for the subsequent entertainment they provided!  :)

My Nuts

We were recently on an airplane and the flight attendant brought us some peanuts.  Mr. Baby asked me if he could go to the back of the plane and ask for two more bags of nuts for his brothers.  He asked the flight attendant 

"Please mine have some nuts for mine boys?"

Once I explained to her that he wanted a couple of bags of peanuts to take home to his brothers - she gave him this. 

He proudly walked back to is seat telling everyone he passed...

"look at my nuts!"

Fast forward to the end of the flight, the seatbelt light had been turned on and we were close to final approach to landing in Reno.  There was another little boy on the flight that was crying.  My oh-so-sweet caring boy, Mr. Baby said, 

"Do you think mine nuts will help feel him better?!"

Buaa hwaa haaa!

My friend, Jay C, said it best "if that had been said by a girl - all humor would have been lost!"

Hitting Santa

These huge hangings are in our Costco over the food court area.  It is a picture of a couple of kids playing with Captain Hook on a white sandy beach with a cruise ship in the background.

And what does my kid say?

Doodles said:

"Those kids are hitting Santa.  Thems BAD kids!"

"Mom!  The sun is looking at me!  Make it stop!"

I am sorry the sun is in your eyes, little boy.

Dickless

Our house has been an illness infested cesspool this week.  The twins are both sick - colds, sore throats, achy bodies, fevers (oh, how high can we go?) and general nastiness.  Just as I was about to reach the end of my rope [cuz I am pretty sure that the parent of the year prize is not awarded to parents who yell "STOP COUGHING!" to their children] of the chorus of coughing this conversation happens:

Coolio (9.5 years) :  

"Mom, I don't feel better.  

I literally think I am dying"

["Literally?"  Child?  When did you learn that word?!]

Doodles (2.5 years) :  

"Oh Coolio!  Stop being dickless!

After I was able to stop laughing - trust me, it took a while - I was able to explain to Coolio that what Doodles really said was 'ridiculous' - "stop being RIDICULOUS!"

Toilet Racer

"Doodles, please play with your trucks somewhere cleaner else.  The toilet seat is not a race track." 

Please, someone else tell me their kid did this, too?

Knocked up.

Just after dinner this evening, I was in the kitchen when I heard nine year old Mr. B. say, 


"Wow.  That is one Knocked Up Baby!"


Say wha?

Oh, I see ...

Knocked OUT little brother!

Mr. B., The proper phrase is "knocked out", "knocked up"  that means something completely different!  :)

And just to clarify....  he simply fell asleep and was not actually knocked out!